Steve asked me if I completed it ... I did. So, I thought I'd give the final chapter. I read the final chapter, and decided to add the last two, so the last made slightly more sense. Please please remember this is a first, rough draft, I haven't even read over it since it's been written ...no typo's have been corrected, no grammatical errors, no character flaws ... nada ... it's about 8,000 words combined ...so feel free to skip. Chapter 10 Cassandra waited nervously in the waiting room to see Patricia. It had been one of the longest weeks of her life. She had met with the nutritionist after having seen her the previous week, and then again later in the week for a regular appointment. She also had her evaluation with the psychiatrist. It had been a very rough week for her, she had no idea what to think of all the information that she had been given. The nightmares that she had experienced had been overwhelming and she had been unable to tell her parents that they’d happened. She had not done much better, if at all with eating, and she had binged and purged two times. She was very glad the volleyball season was over, because if it hadn’t been, she would have been required to get an approval from her treatment team for her to continue to play. How her coach found out she had entered treatment, she did not know. Patricia came out and smiled at Cassandra and motioned for her to go back to the office with her. She asked her how her week had been. Cassandra shrugged her shoulders and did not say much of anything. They got into the office and settled into the chairs and Patricia asked her if she was comfortable. Again, Cassandra shrugged. Cassandra felt like a fish out of water. What was she supposed to do in here? Patricia started out by looking at her chart to see what the nutritionist and psychiatrist had said. She asked Cassandra if she had been comfortable with the other two members of her team, or, as comfortable as she could be. She smiled gently, letting Cassandra know that she knew it was a difficult position for the teenage girl to be in. Patricia was not expecting anything from Cassandra that Cassandra couldn’t give. That helped Cassandra to relax a little. Cassandra smiled back, and said that she guessed so. They talked some about how the week had gone and some about school and some tests that she had had. Some pressure that she had felt under by her parents and how that’d had made her feel. Expectations and reality kept coming up in the conversation and that made Cassandra uncomfortable. Patricia asked her if anything had happened as a result of the previous weeks appointment that bothered Cassandra. She thought for a moment and she said that she had had a lot of nightmares in the last week. Patricia nodded and told her that was not an uncommon happening. She was sorry it had happened. She asked Cassandra if she would talk about the nightmares with her. She told her about being lost in the maze and nothing making sense. Then it turning into her mother’s museum and not understanding the sudden changes and the people, the paintings and being unable to find her way in a place that should have been familiar. She almost told her about the food, and the security guard, but she stopped. She was not about to tell her about the clothes, the nightgown, either the one in the dream or the one that she had cut up for real. That just seemed to scary for her to even talk about. Patricia asked her if Cassandra could go anywhere, be any place at anytime what would she do. Cassandra smiled and her face lit up. She told her about her broken tea set and that it had been her prized possession. Her father had been angry with her for breaking it, but she still had a cup from it. She often thought about the daughter in the legend, and wished that it was a real story and that she could have met the young girl. She would go to the garden, and meet the girl, smell the flowers and sit under the willow tree that dominates the willow garden. She said that she would walk over the bridge and along the iron fence, or, the white picket fence, depending on the legend you read. She would pick the mandarin oranges behind the palace, and go through the palace and look at the ancient Chinese art. She would hope that she never ran into the tyrannical Emperor that reined the country, and his family with the iron fist. They ended the session after talking a few minutes with Cassandra’s parents, some agreements about what her goals were for the week and some promises to return the next week. Cassandra felt okay about the day’s session. She had never shared her fascination with the willow garden out loud with anyone before and had always felt that someone would think she was silly, but Patricia had actually seemed interested. She got into the car and as she looked out the window, she wondered if maybe, just maybe, she might be able to talk to Patricia about other things that she felt were unspeakable. Kwang Se woke up before the sun and she quietly got dressed and walked as quietly as she could to the kitchen. When she got there, she was surprised to find the kitchen staff already preparing breakfast, and the rest of the day’s meals. She was unaware of how hard they worked. They stopped when they saw the princess come into the kitchen and they bowed. What Kwang Se did not know, is that the tutor, had already informed them that she was planning on escaping for her happiness, and they were so happy for her they were not only preparing the days meals, they were gathering some food for her to take with her to the shed. Little bundles of food that would not spoil and could easily be taken, without notice, were placed here and there throughout the kitchen. Different housekeepers, gardeners, and other servants in the palace would help Kwang Se to fill her shed and continue to supply her and her new husband with food. They would not starve. Kwang Se’s eyes filled with tears as she bowed before the servants. They bowed in return accepting the honor of the royalty bowing to them. She was such a precious young girl, it was amazing that she was related to such a tyrannical father. Kwang Se took the first bundle of food, and a few dishes to the shed, so that she could be back before breakfast. She knew that her life was about to be happier than she could even imagine. She knew that her father would not find her, because no one in his employ would ‘find’ them, even though they all knew where they were. She and Chang would live right in the beautiful garden that she loved so much but far from the reaches of the Emperor’s violent hand. She hurried back into the palace to have breakfast with her father. Her father did not seem to want to carry on a conversation with her this morning. He was distracted and upset about how the war was going. He was also upset that the people of the nearby village were at unrest with the war. How dare they not support his plans! They should be sending their sons to battle with joy! Did they not understand that this would gain more ground for their Emperor to rule? When breakfast was finally over the Emperor did not even ask his daughter what her plans were for the day. He just got up and walked out of the room. Kwang Se was relieved to be free to do as she needed. She went quietly to the study and gathered a few of her favorite knick knacks, and then to her room to gather a few more clothing and personal belongings. Surely, it would not be more than a few more days, maybe hours before her beloved came to claim her. She stole away to the shed with her treasures. Her heart skipped a beat as she watched a gardener pretend to be trimming trees near the shed. She knew that he had just taken a bundle of food to the shed. As she approached, he bowed to her with a smile on his face that said he was happy for her. She went into the shed and gasped with joy. Not only had it been cleaned up, but someone had brought a beautiful oriental screen to make a bedroom for privacy. She had not seen the screen in the palace, so she wondered where it had come from. They had hung some pictures on the walls, and the cupboards had been fully stocked. The little dusty shed, had become a modest, yet beautiful home. Kwang Se felt protected and loved in a way she never realized she had been. She went into the bedroom area and hung up the clothing that she had and noticed that someone had brought down a vanity table, her brushes and mirror were on top of the vanity. She sat down on the mat that she would soon share with her husband and cried. Life would soon be far less opulent, and far more beautiful. She sat there for a few minutes and then got up and took a walk in the garden. She looked at the bridge that first brought her her beloved Chang. What a beautiful bridge it was. It was an amazing structure, if only she could pass over it with the freedom to return as she desired. She loved this garden so, but the safety that it should provide, was tarnished by the anger that her father’s violence. As she walked along the shore of the water and watched the frogs jump up on the lily pads, she looked across the bridge and off into the distance. She wondered how the war was going. She hoped that no one was being too severely injured and that peace would come quickly. She knew this was a foolish wish, but she must wish it none the less. As she looked at the water, something moved along the water. Slow and smooth. She tilted her head and squinted her eyes. It kept moving but she could not quite see what it was. As she covered the sun from her eyes she was able to see just a little better. It was a boat. A boat with two men and a few boxes. One of them rowing the boat, slowly and quietly, her beloved Chang, the other, a Monk from within the village was with him. It was time! Kwang Se’s heart skipped a beat and she ran to the willow tree. She knew that no one would see her there hidden under the leaves that reached to the ground, thick, not even the sunlight could get through at this time of the year. The Willow, protected her most intimate secrets! Chang, however, would know exactly where to look. Cassandra walked into the school gym dressed in one of her nicest dresses. It always struck her as odd that sports had banquets where everyone got dressed up to give awards. She looked around for her friends Sandy and Kelly. They waved to her. They’d saved three seats, one for her, and two for her parents. Cassandra winced. It was just Cassandra; her mother had dropped her off so she could go to the fundraiser at the museum. Her father was ‘on call’ and was not here. She, as was normal for anything sports related, was alone. She went over to the table to sit down and told them that her parents weren’t there. She shrugged it off as if it was no big deal. The other girls and their parents tried to not show how surprised they were. It was not too long before the meal was going to be served. Sandy’s father waited to see if the two empty chairs were going to be sat in, and when no one sat in them, he wisely took the chairs and placed them against the wall. They all moved so that they were sitting evenly around the table with no gaps. The absent parents were less obvious. Cassandra relaxed and became determined to enjoy the evening. As they brought out the plates, Cassandra started to build a panic. Both of her friends knew exactly what was going on. She had been surprised to find out that Camille had told her secret, but Camille was determined that she was not going through this alone, her friends would be there for her. Sandy touched one foot of Cassandra’s with her own, and then Kelly did the same. Cassandra knew that it was a quiet sign of support. A promise of solidarity and friendship, and even though her parents weren’t there, Cassandra felt loved and protected. The plate was sat in front of her and she took a deep breath. Just as she was struggling to force herself to pick up her fork, there was music starting to play. It was piano music. That was odd. Cassandra, Sandy and Kelly looked at each other. She knew their was music normally in the background, but it was normally canned music, this, sounded like real piano. The girls grinned from ear to ear. The parents of the other two girls seemed to be in on the secret. Sandy’s dad leaned over just a bit so that Cassandra could see the area by the stage in the gym, a piano had been moved into the floor of the gym, and sitting at the piano; Camille the Perfect. Playing with a smile on her face and Cassandra knew that it was just for her little sister. A few months ago, Camille wouldn’t have been seen at an athletic banquet if you paid her. Now, she was there and proud of it. Cassandra was certain her mother and father were totally unaware of it. Her mother, would be mortified that Camille was playing classic rock, instead of classical music. Camille had started with some of Cassandra’s favorite, Billy Joel, “Do not Go Changing” had been the music that had caught her attention. Cassandra looked at her plate and picked up her fork. Determined to do eat, if Camille could show Cassandra that kind of support, Cassandra could show herself some kind of support and put a few bites of food into her mouth. She moved the food around some on the plate. She was determined to not make squares out of the food, but before she knew it, all of the food had been separated and was in its own tight little square. She started to eat, one bite at a time. She concentrated on the voices around her and what they were saying. They were talking about the different games they’d played. She desperately tried to ignore the fork going from the plate to her mouth. She start to count One two three four and then “NO!” and start to listen to the conversation. It had been so long since she had listened to the conversation at the dinner table, she had forgotten that she could actually do so. She felt like a spy listening to covert secrets. She almost felt like a fraud for doing so. Another bite of her salad; one two three “NO!” and then she tuned into the laughter coming from Kelly’s father as he recalled the tournament that they’d lost so badly at the beginning of the season. Everyone had been so very sure that we’d come away winners, we had it in the bag, and yet we lost every game! How much fun that day had been, lessons learned and balls bouncing instead of soaring. But the fun the girls had had. Cassandra looked up, confused and then smiled. She remembered the fear she had when she had come home that her parents would see her as such a failure and then they hadn’t even noticed. She lost out on a day of enjoyment that no one else had even seemed to care about. It was a tournament that did not effect their season play, so in reality, it did not even matter. They’d won the state finals in spite of that day’s tournaments. She had stressed out that day. She had not had fun. The day that had stood out in her mind as an awful day, stood out in her friends day as a fun day. They’d learned from their mistakes. She had been terrorized by them. She started to relax a little bit and listened to the other’s recollection of the day. Remembering some of the events and trying to see if from their perspective. Allowing herself to take the bites of food, but not allowing herself to think about the food she was eating. Before she knew it, half of her food was gone. She took a deep breath and put her fork down. She had really eaten quite a bit without obsessing on it. She couldn’t remember the last time that she had eaten so much food without it being a binge, without counting every single bite, and all while listening to the conversation going on around her. She took a few drinks of the tea from her glass and pushed her plate forward. She had eaten most of her salad and half of her food on her plate. She was not going to eat anymore. She felt full and overwhelmed, but she also felt like she had just accomplished something. Sandy’s foot tapped her and Kelly smiled. They let her know they’d understood that she had worked hard just now. Plates were starting to be picked up and people started to bring out dessert. Cassandra did not know if she could handle dessert. That, would send her over the edge! As they brought dessert around, they were asking if people wanted the desserts or not, and not everyone was taking them. Cassandra relaxed and noticed that most of her teammates were turning the dessert down. The only people who took the dessert at her table was the two fathers. She felt far better, and absolutely no pressure. Everyone started to turn their chairs to face the stage as the school administration and coaching staff approached the stage. Everyone started to clap and the principal took the microphone. Announcements were made and the statistics for the team were read. Clapping, cheering were echoing in the gym and laughter was filling the gym making it hard for the adults to read the roster of the volleyball team members. They asked for everyone to quiet down so that they could announce the awards and announce the promised spots for the Varsity and Junior Varsity Squad the following year. This was always a nervous time for the girls on the team. Only so many team places were reserved. The rest, would have to be tried out for at the beginning of the next season. The guaranteed ones, were totally dependent on this years performance. Cassandra dared to hope for early placement on Varsity, and while she knew that it was not unheard of for a sophomore to get a promised spot, she also knew it was rare and did not happen every year. She also knew that with her current issues, that may have gone into a lot of the decision making processes. Cassandra looked at her two best friends in the whole world. Neither of them expected to get promised spots on the team, but she hoped against hope, and they knew she was counting on it. She was hoping all three of them would letter. They were just glad they were all three at the banquet together. As the names began to be called for the Junior varsity squad for awards for sportsmanship, for leadership, for most valuable player, for most improved player and for coaches’ award, the girls sat right next to each other, holding hands as tight as they could. None of them knew if they were even considered for an award, but, it was fun to hope. No one was surprised at all when Claire was called for the Most Valuable Player. They all cheered for her. She deserved it. She was definitely the most talented player on the team. The next award was for sportsmanship. They called Kelly’s name and she just clapped while Sandy and Cassandra started to scream and cry. They were hugging each other, assuming that Kelly would be going up to the stage to get her award. Kelly, on the other hand, didn’t quite process that it had been her name that had been called. She was confused as to why her friends were screaming so loudly. Her parents started to push her to the stage and she started to realize why her friends were screaming. She started to cry and she walked up to the stage to accept her trophy. As she got up there, they called for the next award. Most improved player “Sandy” and the girls could not contain themselves. Cassandra was left jumping up and down by herself while Sandy went up to get her award and hug Kelly. Cassandra was so proud of her friends! She could not contain herself. AS the leadership award was called. Cassandra was so proud of each of her teammates. She got lost in thinking about how much her friends deserved what they were getting, she did not even hear her own name called for the Coaches award. Kelly’s mother had to tell her that she’d been called. Sandy and Kelly were up on stage jumping up and down, waiting for their friend to join them. When all the special award winners were up there, and finally calmed down, they stood in a line, with their coaches, and the principal, and a photographer wanted a picture. Cassandra wanted to dash away. She’d not thought about pictures. She was stuck, but let the picture be taken. She went back to her seat and the girls compared their trophies as the girls who lettered had their names called. Because they’d won the awards, they were almost certain they’d each lettered. Very few times in the history of the school’s athletic department did players who won special awards not letter as well. As the letters were given out, the girls were proven to be right. Then, they had to wait for the process of the Varsity squad and their special awards and letters to be given out in order to hear about the reserved spots for the next year’s teams. As they wrapped up the Varsity awards and said a special note of thanks to the seniors who had played, the tension in the room seemed palpable. Everyone knew that the evening was coming to an end, and the last thing was to announce the few spots that would be promised for the next season. As the Junior Varsity names started to be called, Sandy’s name was called and then Kelly’s. Both girls jumped up and ran to the front. Cassandra was not called and did not know whether she should be excited, or upset, nervous or thrilled. By not being called for the Junior Varsity, it could mean she did not make either team, or it could mean she made the Varsity team. Her friends got up to the front, and they had the same nerves running through them. The idea of the trio being separated didn’t appeal to them, but they knew that Cassandra belonged on the varsity squad and that’s where they all wanted her to be. As the names started to be called, the would be seniors were called first, then the sophomores. A few more girls than expected were called, and Cassandra sat back. She glanced over at Claire. If any sophomore had made it, it definitely would have been Claire. Then Coach Steadman said “And for our two sophomore additions to the Varsity Squad: Cassandra Hamilton and Claire Thompson!” The two girls grinned from ear to ear and went up together. They hugged their junior Varsity friends and then went to stand with the varsity squad. The Athletic director said a few parting thoughts and then everyone was excused. Cassandra gathered her certificate, her trophy and her letter and went into the parking lot. Telling her friends goodbye, she looked for her parents car. They were just pulling in as she was walking out of the school. Chapter 11 Kwang Se sat next to the trunk of the Blue Willow tree. She waited for Chang to get there. She knew that he would look for her there. She knew that all her hopes and dreams were about to come true. She also knew that whatever happened to them physically, her heart would be protected by Chang from now and forever. Just as she thought these words, she thought she heard a bird rustling in the willow branches. Before she could look up to find the bird, standing before her in the thick branches was the love of her heart. He was holding a handful of morning glories and handed them to Kwang Se. Her face lit up, not because of the flowers, but because of the eyes of the man she loved so much. Behind him, stood the man who would bring them together in marriage and he bowed to both of them. He reminded them that there was not much time, that there was much danger and that they must do this with dignity but as quickly as possible. He reminded them of the bond that marriage gives to two people and he joined them forever as one. Joyously, he bowed before the princess and her new husband. Technically, he was the prince, but no one would know, and if they did, he would likely loose his life. For that matter, Kwang Se’s father would be so angry, he would likely take hers as well. The Monk, had decided to visit the Emperor after the ceremony, in order to give him a safe way to leave and a reason for the boat to be on the shore. As soon as the couple were married, he watched them run to their shed and he then went into the palace and asked to see the Emperor. He knew the couple had safely made it to the shed. He would talk to the Emperor for as long as he could distract him, hopefully through lunch and long into the afternoon. When the sun was setting, he finally left for the village. The Emperor was a little annoyed and tired, and asked to have his dinner alone in his study. He never even knew that his daughter was not around. He planned for the next days’ battle and went to bed. The household servants were happier than they had been in a long time. They knew that Kwang Se was happy and with Chang. They would do what they could do to protect her. Kwang Se and Chang in their new home were amazed at how happy they had found themselves. They sat down at the little table in the kitchen and Kwang Se played with the morning glories that Chang had given her. Before Chang knew it, she had woven them into a crown to put on her head. She put it on and they both laughed at the ornate crown she was wearing. Chang got up and bowed to her. They were so happy that they got up and danced around the shed. Laughing and talking and singing together and then they came to a sudden stop. Chang looked at her and asked her to play her flute. Kwang Se was not sure if it was a good idea. What if they were heard? What if the sound of her flute was heard over the wind? Chang reminded her that they were down wind of the Palace and that at this time of the night, the crickets and the cadidids are singing their song. Your flute will be just another song in the air. Kwang Se played her flute, quietly and easily so that she would not be heard. Kwang Se was so happy! She could not believe that she was having all her dreams come true. She was living in the garden, she was married to the man that she knew was going to take care of her and she was no longer under the rule of her father. Cassandra took her letter and her award certification to show Patricia. She was excited to tell her that she’d been awarded the position on the varsity squad for her sophomore year. She also understood that in order to play next year, she was going to have to face her eating disorder and become healthy, because no one was going to allow her to play while sick. Cassandra stopped in her tracks as she was walking down the hallway. She hadn’t really thought of anything concerning her food issues as making her sick. She knew her parents did, her coach and friends. But she, never had. She started to walk again. Her enthusiasm was less, but her self introspection was intensified. She arrived in the waiting room ready to talk to Patricia and get some real work done in therapy for the first time since she’d started therapy. Patricia called for Cassandra to come back into her office and they went back together. Cassandra sat down pensively. She wasn’t sure where to start. Did she start with her successes or with her sudden realization that she was, in fact, sick? She decided to start with telling her about the banquet and the awards. She thought she’d be sharing the excitement of the night, her winning and it turned into talking about how it made her feel to succeed. Cassandra was surprised to find out that she wanted to avoid those questions and just move on. She was happy she’d made the team, it was what she wanted, but to have a fuss made over it by Patricia was making her uncomfortable. As they talked Cassandra realized that a conversation had taken place earlier in the year between Camille and herself. Camille had made a rude remark about Cassandra not needing to practice because she had a team to support her, and Camille needed to do it all herself. The reality was, Cassandra didn’t want the attention on herself. She wanted to do her best. To be competitive, to excel at everything she did but she did not want to be the center of attention. She never could have been in a recital like Camille. She would have died of stage fright to have all those eyes on her. While her mother was at work at the museum and people kept their attention on her, day in and day out, all Cassandra wanted to do, was to blend in, and be part of the team. While she needed to do her best, she really would not have cared about the awards ceremony, except to find out who was promised a spot on the teams for next year. It was hard for Cassandra to talk about her preference to be a part of a team. It never seemed like a bad thing before. Patricia was asking her to be proud of her accomplishments, and a part of Cassandra knew that she should be, and was, but to vocalize that and to say “I am proud of myself” stuck in her throat and made her feel very uncomfortable. She wondered if it made her selfish and would people think she was prideful. She did not know where the boundary was between being proud of her accomplishments and finding her way through the maze of self involvement that seemed to be the hallmark of her family. They talked some more about Cassandra’s previously unknown fears of being a success. She had never even realized that she was trying so hard to be successful and fighting it at the same time. She wanted to be a person who could be counted on. To be of good character, one she admired in so many people, but she did not admire the character that was being shown in her own home. She started to tear up. To admit that she did not want to be like her own parents was a hard thing to admit. She looked at Patricia and asked if that made her a bad child. Kwang Se was looking out the shed window listening to the easy breathing of her groom as he slept. She knew her father did not know that she was missing yet, there had been no search party sent to look for her. The garden would not be peaceful when the party started to search. She knew that she would be safe from being ‘found’ but there would be a lot of people looking, or at least pretending to look. She wondered if there would be people taking the opportunity to bring them things that they would need during the search. She imagined that there would be. She so wanted to take her flute out and play a lonely song, but she knew to do so, would be to risk her life and the life of her husband. Right now, she was surprised to find herself lonely. Her dreams had been fulfilled, so why was there still this hole in her heart? She looked to the palace, it’s gold and red shone in the moonlight and she knew. Her father’s love had been so impossible to win, and it was all a little girl ever dreamed of wanting until she met Chang. She remembered going once to the village and seeing a young girl being lifted into the air by her father and coming back to the palace and asking her father to lift her. She was told that it was not fitting of an Emperor to lift anyone. He then sent her to have a servant play with her. He told the servant to make her happy or the servant would pay with his life. As Kwang Se looked to the Palace she had mixed feelings of being glad she no longer had to worry about ever trying to win his approval and being sad that she never again would have the opportunity to gain his approval. She was happy that she had managed to escape and that so many in the household were willing to help her, even if it meant paying with their reputations, maybe even their lives. What did it mean when a child was willing to betray their father’s in this manner. Was the child the one who might be the one who was not so loyal after all? As she pondered this, a single tear slipped from her eye and she tried to keep the tears from following the one that had escaped. She was so lost in her thoughts, she had not noticed that the breathing in the corner had become less rhythmic. Chang woke up, and walked up behind her. He reached out and touched her shoulder. “You are mine now. I am yours. We are together.” She sunk into his strong arms, and her head rested on his shoulder. She remembered the first time that she saw his deep brown eyes, she got lost in the power of the integrity of those eyes. Something she had never seen before. That was what she was sure that she wanted in her life. “I know.” She whispered back. “You’re supposed to be with me” “I know” “Come to bed.” “Okay. Tonight, forever. Together” Cassandra went home and asked her mother if she could do something to her bedside table that would alter it. Her mother asked her what she meant. “Like, paint it or something” With a shrug that was non committal, but let her mom know that she had something very specific in mind. Her mom decided that she could do it. She asked if she needed any help. Cassandra just said a ride to the hardware store for supplies. So, they hopped into the car and went to get the things that Cassandra needed. Cassandra went into the Hardware store and asked the clerk for some help. She told him what she was wanting to do and he told her exactly what she needed, and how to do what she needed to accomplish her task. Giving specific instructions he said “If I were doing this, I would tackle it one of two ways: either place the broken china pieces right on the edge, or, create a rim using a long strip of and wrap this around the edge of the table being careful to keep it level. Then, use quickset to place the broken china pieces where you want them. Once you have completely covered the table and the pieces have had a chance to set, mix your grout a little on the runny side not too much though, and splotch it in the middle of the table. Use a squeegee to make sure the grout fills in all the cracks. Don't be afraid to go over the edge a bit to make sure it is totally full. After this has set a bit, use a damp cloth or sponge to wipe off the excess on top of the china pieces. When the quickset and grout have set, remove the aluminum strip. You can use course sandpaper to smooth out any rough spots. You may want to consider a grout sealer to protect the table from spills and such.” He then helped her to find the grout, the aluminum strip she needed, and the sand paper. He also helped her to find the appropriate filler and the tools she would need. When she had paid for everything, she took her things and went to the car. Her mother’s interest was piqued, but she had promised to let Cassandra do this and was going to stay out of it. She just hoped that Cassandra was not going to ruin a perfectly good table. “Don’t forget to put something down on the floor so that you don’t ruin the floor as well, Cassandra.” Dorothy’s tone let Cassandra know that she had better not ruin the table. She better be very careful. Cassandra took her supplies with her into her bedroom. She moved her bed out of the way and then went into the garage to find an old tarp that they’d taken with them camping several years before. As she started to clear off the bedside table she became excited. She had in her minds eye exactly what the table was going to look like. The broken miniature willow set may have been a tragedy in her parents minds, but it was going to be a piece of beauty to her. Every night before she went to bed, she was going to see the pieces and remind herself that it didn’t matter how she got there, as long as she got to safety. She sanded the table down and put the aluminum down as the clerk instructed her to do. She looked at the clock and it was about lunch time. She decided that it was kind of foolish to make this table, about safety and then skip lunch in the process. She went into the kitchen and made herself a tuna sandwich, half an apple and a yogurt. She started to sit at the kitchen table and then smiled. She picked up her lunch and took it to her bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and ate her lunch off the table she was about to make. As she started to tear the sandwich bite off, she put the first bite in her mouth; one two three four five six seven eight nine ten tee ewe en aaa. It frustrated her that even now while she was working so hard, she could not seem to keep from using her rituals. Ess aaa enn dee double ewe eye cee ach. She knew that she needed to eat, and she should probably not do this, but something in her needed to count and spell in order to get the sandwich down. She gave into the ritual, tearing off one bite at a time. Counting and spelling. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten tee ewe en aaa Ess aaa enn dee double ewe eye cee ach. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten tee ewe en aaa Ess aaa enn dee double ewe eye cee ach . One two three four five six seven eight nine ten tee ewe en aaa Ess aaa enn dee double ewe eye cee ach. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten tee ewe en aaa Ess aaa enn dee double ewe eye cee ach. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten tee ewe en aaa Ess aaa enn dee double ewe eye cee ach When she finally finished eating the tuna sandwich, she moved on to the apple, the same way, and then she finished off the yogurt. By the time she was done, she was so stressed from having eaten, she wondered if she could actually complete the table. She took the remainder of her dishes into the kitchen. When she caught sight of herself in a reflection from a picture she knew she had to do it. Regardless of how scary it might seem to be. That reflection staring back at her, was not a healthy girl. She had to be healthy. She put the dishes into the sink and went back to her bedroom with a renewed since of adventure and determination to finish the table and to find recovery. She cleaned the table from having eaten on it, and sanded it a little more. Pleased with how it looked she then pulled the shoe box of broken china pieces from under the bed. She got the pieces out and gently laid them one by one on the table. She found where they best fit on the table, like a puzzle being fit together, only in this puzzle, only Cassandra was to decide where the pieces would fit best together. As she placed them together, she finally got to the center and there was a piece that was perfect. It was from on of the plates that had broken and it was a perfect and whole scene. It was the bridge. The bridge where the emperor could be easily seen and Cassandra knew that would make the perfect centerpiece for the table. Where Kwang Se were finding their bridge to safety, so would Cassandra find her bridge to safety. Kwang Se and Chang had lived for a long time in the shed and no one had ever found them. They had been happy but the war between their countries had waged on. The Emperor had sent out search parties to look for the Princess and they had all come back empty handed. Many had been fired only to be hired again when the new people hired had proven incompetent. The Emperor had never thought to look in his own garden for the couple. It just did not seem like they would hide under his own nose. He never realized that the house maid and garden boy that he saw walking on their breaks together were actually his daughter and son in law. They were not walking on their breaks, but walking through the garden and enjoying some time alone. They’d become used to not being recognized and had started to become used to being poor. Kwang Se no longer felt like she was betraying her father, but that she’d found peace and happiness. Then the terrible thing they’d feared the most happened. Kwang Se and Chang were at the ponds edge one day talking to the Koi fish. Chang was teasing Kwang Se about the fish talking back to her again. Kwang Se was sorry because she could not find her two favorite fish. She wondered if they were no longer living or if they’d just not come to the palace that day. Suddenly, a noise was behind them. Kwang Se knew without turning around that it was who she had feared the most in her life. Her time in the garden that she loved so dearly was over. Her life would be over if she and her beloved did not make haste. She called to Chang and he looked up to see what she was so alarmed at. Just as he did, he caught sight of the Emperor running to the house. He grabbed Kwang Se and bolted to the shed. When he realized that by now, he probably realized that that is where they were living, they changed directions. They ran for the bridge, but just as they reached it, the Emperor was right behind them. Bearing in on them he held in his hand a hatchet to use on his daughter and her beloved. Chang was determined; he would do everything in his power to keep that from happening. As the couple started to run across the bridge he was gaining ground. Kwang Se and Chang yelled out their I love you’s to each other. Just on the other side of the bridge was the temple where the Monk who had married them resided in. Change and Kwang Se saw the Monk and Chang yelled to him for Sanctuary. The Monk motioned for him to hide behind the gate. They went behind the gate and they asked the Monk for prayers to keep them safe, forever, so that they could stay in Kwang Se’s garden, forever and together and keep them from the wrath of the emperor. The Monk looked at them and he asked. Are you sure that this is the request that you desire? They both nodded and so the Monk said his prayer just as the tyrant was coming at the three of them. He had his hatchet raised in the air and was about to come down onto Chang’s honorable head when suddenly two doves appeared and were flying high into the sky. Chang and Kwang Se were never seen again. The emperor was angered but would not arrest the Monk, because he could not say that he had seen the monk hide his child and son and law, but he knew that somehow he’d hidden them. The two birds flew into the garden, and into the protection of the Willow tree. They were forever protected and would live out their days together and happy. They could go anywhere in the garden and not have to worry about being discovered by the tyrannical ruler. They were forever in the garden of the willow tree. Cassandra carefully took the pieces off the table in a way that she’d know where they needed to go when she had the grout mixture ready. Before she put the grout mixture on the table, she got into her trashcan and pulled out a few strands of the nightgown that she’d cut up. She wanted to bury it beneath the grout mixture. It would be buried where no one but her would know it was there. But she’d know that it was buried. Not buried because it should be kept a secret, but buried because it no longer held it’s power over her. The blue willow’s broken china would now represent who she was, and what she stood for, not a nightgown hanging in the closet haunting her. Taunting her. She put the grout on the table and then started to press the pieces into the grout. She worked steadily to complete the table. When it was dry, she sanded it down, then put on the sealer. When it was all done, but still drying, she started to clean up her mess. She carefully went and cleaned the tools that she’d used and the container that she’d mixed the grout. Every little speck of dirt that was not where it belonged was cleaned up and put back where she’d gotten it. She then, put the table where it belonged, and put her bed back where it belonged. Then, picked up her bedside table belongings and temporarily put them on her desk, just for the night for her table to dry. She went into the living room to find her mother and father. She asked them to come see the table. She said that first she wanted them to understand that she knew that with the eating disorder and some choices that she’d made that she was not always what they’d hoped she would be as a daughter. But that she was working on being the best Cassandra that she could be. That she was picking up the pieces and trying to make her the best she that she could be and that she would somehow find a way to make herself be that person. She took her parents to the room and stopped. She told them that she’d worked really hard on this table and this idea. She hoped that they would like it, but the reality was, SHE really liked it, and that was the point of the whole thing. She thanked her mother for helping her to get the necessary tools and then thanked them both for helping her to get help when she could not have done it herself. As she opened the door, they immediately saw the table. Dorothy gasped. She’d seen the mosaic tables before and this certainly was one of the better quality ones she’d seen before. She was happy for her daughter. Her father was looking closely at the table. Cassandra thought he was finding fault but instead he asked a question. “what’s this piece right here in the center?” “That? That is the Bridge to safety.” | 
